I kind of just need to get this off my chest... I asked my mom about what she would do if I was diagnosed as autistic(because I don't have a formal diagnosis and I live with her and my grandma) and I kind of coaxed out of her that she wants me to act 'low-functioning' so we could get more benefits and our own place and I still want to cry because I'm doing my best to be independent and she isn't helping at all...
:’( I’m sorry……have a box of kittens……I hope it helps somehow. <3
You do not have to put up with people being jerks no matter what. Everyone I know with Asperger’s (myself included) who finds out that they have been mean or hurtful because of their Asperger’s are horrified by their own behavior.
Yeah, sometimes I realize I’ve said/done something wrong due to a quirk of Autism. (Accidentally glared, been blunt or rude…and I ALWAYS apologize. I NEVER blame it on that, even if it was something I did that I couldn’t help. I always try to keep it in check. It’s not an excuse for that kind of behavior. We might never be able to act like allistics, and I doubt most would WANT to, but we CAN try and be kind and decent beings whenever possible.
Having Aspergers and being a jerk are two completely different things.
I know I’m probably going to get raged at for this, which is fine.
But…honestly? There’s something I keep running into.
And that’s people who claim to have Aspergers being quite rude, doing a lot of things like teasing me for my social skills, demanding to know why I’m gay/won’t date them, and generally being rude to other people.
They don’t seem to have Aspergers. Their social skills are fine, they don’t suffer from anxiety or seem to really suffer at all.
And then, when I ask them to please stop being mean/rude to me, they say “Oh, well, I have Aspergers. You asking me to do this is Aspie-shaming. I can’t help it if I have a disorder.”
But their “Disorder” seems SO inconsistent. They’re fine with their parents, and around people unless they find a reason to be rude or tease them.
And most of them don’t have a diagnosis.
Doing this hurts. It hurts people like me, and people who have Aspergers. And it hurts other people. Using a diagnosis, especially a fake one, as an excuse to torment/be rude to people is wrong. People with Aspergers CAN’T help it, and I have NEVER met an actual Aspie who behaved this way. It’s people who use it as an excuse to be a jerk that make it so hard for Spectrum people to get help and be accepted. And I’m done not speaking up about it.
My mom thinks I'm crazy because I got a Doctor Whooves shirt and an Epic Purple Shirt. I also got a pin with Jesus on it that says "Come at me bro" (which she liked,) and a pin that says "Keep Calm and Dubstep On" because I'm a Dubstep DJ. My mom loves me, but she thinks I'm nuts. I'mokaywiththis.jpeg.
My two younger bros are autistic, high functioning and moderate. We fought a lot growing up because none of us understood how to deal with each other's actions. My parents spent a lot of time trying to teach them how to deal with the world, but no one told me how to be around them. We're all close now, and I love them to pieces, but I wish there was something like this blog too explain maybe not everything but some thing better.
I know what you mean, I’m glad you’re close now. :)
Sometimes I feel like my mom doesn't understand what I go through. Like if I'm in a crowded room at a family gathering, I have to get away from it all because there's too many noise and people. And if I can't get out of the room I sort of double over in my seat and plug my ears, or turn my music on and blast it so I can't hear anyone. And my mom always accuses me of being antisocial. I'd be more social if I was put in situations I could handle better. ...What do I do?
Eliza: “I’m not sure what to say to this person, mom. What did WE do?”
Eliza’s Mom: “Well, you used to disappear if you couldn’t handle it, and I talked to you, and you explained to me that you couldn’t handle that many people right then. So, you’d ask if you could socialize in small bursts. Come say hi to everyone, be polite, excuse yourself when it got to be too much, and come back out when you were ready. Then, when it was a smaller group you COULD handle, you’d make more of an effort if you could. If she hasn’t already, this girl needs to talk to her mom about WHY she does that. I hope she gets help.”
Do you have any suggestions for keeping emotions in check? I get frustrated so easily and just break down and cry.
Here’s what I have to do, and it usually works for me, but not always.
I try to separate myself from the situation. If I’m in public, I go to a more secluded area, and if I’m home, I go into an empty room. Often, I’ll plug my ears and close my eyes to remove myself from external stimuli. Then, when I start to calm down, I ask myself what I was REALLY upset about. Was the situation really that bad, or did it just seem like that? Either way, what can I do to make it better? Sometimes, I have to put a frustrating situation behind me for a bit until I’m in a better place to deal with it, if it can wait.
I try to count things, often. It calms me down. 10 tiles per row. 12 rows in this room. 120 tiles. That kind of thing always helps me out. My parents never had to send me to my room as a kid. Every time I got upset, I’d say “I need to go to my room and think about what I’ve done.” Sometimes being alone, removing myself from a situation, helped until I could learn to deal with overwhelming emotions.
Hullo, fellow high-functioner here! Just discovered this blog and my god, I relate to so many of these. XD I'm glad there's other people out there who understand why we do the things we do. Makes me seem less crazy. Keep it up. :3
None of us are crazy or weird in a bad way. <3 I’m SO glad you like it! :)
To put the people's fears to rest about the Mayan Calendar; The calendar was written before Leap years were a thing, so the calendar would be a single day more obsolete every time there was a leap year, in reality, the date that we think is December 21st 2012 was back in April of last year...
I was curies and does any other autistic kitten worry over December 21st? ;_; and does it cause you guys to panic as well or? And if so, do you have any way of keeping your mind off of it?
No, it’s actually a semi-religious holiday for me, Winter Solstice. (I’m biologically Jewish, but more Neo-Pagan.)
I also studied Anthropology and Archaeology with experts on Mayan culture, who confirmed for me that their calendar doesn’t even end then. Since I’m logic-based, I think that it’s too illogical to be worried about it.
I figured either you or another autistic kitten who reads this blog may be able to help me out! My son doesn't seem to "get" questions. Sometimes asking him to tell me his name is a challenge (i.e: I ask him what his name is, I await his answer). Any advice on how I could go about working on getting him to answer questions better? As always, thank you in advance! :)
Anyone who say you are not beautiful is so cripplingly wrong. You are one of the most beautiful people I sort of know x3 You help so many people on a daily basis, and that alone is enough to make you such a stunningly beautiful person. Chin up, and keep fighting <3
Kitten, I'm sorry. It's called body dismorphia and it is sad when someone becomes convinced that they aren't beautiful. Because you are. You show it through the way you sympathise, the way you elucidate thoughts no one else could possibly conjure, the way you comfort each and every one of us, and the way you bounce up every time you are knocked down. You are a beautiful, loving, and kind person. We love you Eliza. Now let me hug you.
It's a bad habit your brain gets into when people say things like that all the time and you internalize it. I have the same problems with self image and anxiousness about appearing 'normal'. I think it helps that whenever you think something bad, you stop yourself and think something positive instead. You've got to train your brain or subconscious or whatever to be nice to you after absorbing all that negativity.
My whole life, I’ve been made fun of for my looks, and my weirdness. I always got called weird-looking and teased for my weight. Some people would call me beautiful, or point out that I wasn’t ugly, just different. But I’ve always been teased for my babyish looks, my round face, my weight, and my “slight accent.”
What’s sad is discovering that I can always find people of any body type and any appearance beautiful. There is always something that makes them special, wonderful, and entirely unique.
However, I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. My mind says nasty things every day.
So, I will NEVER call someone stupid for their opinion on their looks, or call anyone ugly. I might never see myself as beautiful, but I want to help others.
One kid once said to me, “You look like God took a bunch of spare body parts and threw them together when He made you.” As he pinned me against a fence and tried to take off my clothes.